Caffe e Cucina – Dani Valent

Back to restaurant reviews
581 Chapel Street, South Yarra, 9827 4139

My score: 2/5

I really like chocolate, walnut and blue cheese but I’ve never been tempted to cook them up together. Chocolate and walnuts, yes. Walnuts and blue cheese, absolutely. The tricky triumvurate? No thanks. Because I was so sceptical I had to try the (savoury) chocolate tagliatelle with walnuts and blue cheese at Caffe e Cucina, the 26-year-old restaurant which taught Chapel Street to say ‘ciao bella’ and which has hosted one in every 29 of Melbourne’s marriage proposals since it opened in 1988. My statistic is fabricated but I bet it’s not far wrong. The proposals occur regularly on the romantic Romeo e Giuletta balcony. Stand there and you’ll feel the charge of thousands of full hearts. And if you’re heading up there yourself pray your beloved says ‘yes’ because the minimum spend is $230.

Caffe e Cucina is a dim, pleasant and weathered mood piece. The flirty waiters make diners feel adored and respected. The wine list takes an easy jaunt around Italy and nothing is too expensive. But the food can let the good vibes slide. We weren’t given bread, nor did it appear on the menu, and no other table had any either. Wheat-phobia is rife but bread is a basic offering. A signature prawn and pineapple salad was fridge cold, lacked dressing, and included woody chunks of pineapple core. Lamb cutlets were flaccid, fatty and overcooked. And that chocolate tagliatelle. The pasta was thick and gluggy and the only thing that saved the dreaded combination from damnation was the fact that the chocolate offered a cocoa tinge but couldn’t really be tasted, and the walnuts were scattered sparsely, as though they cost as much as 22-carat diamonds. The dish tasted like flour and cream and felt like a chef trying too hard. A special of pork ragu with casarecce pasta tubes was better: simple, salty, comforting and on the table in five minutes.

Tradition won again with the tira misu: a sozzled triumph of mascarpone, biscuits and coffee, and easy to swoon over. Caffe e Cucina has won many Melbourne hearts in its proud history but the food needs to improve to keep the love alive.

See their website.

More Romance:

Maha, 21 Bond Street, Melbourne, 9629 5900
Take a spice journey at Shane Delia’s Middle Eastern restaurant. Vegan and vegetarian banquets are among the respectful and appealing offerings. For a speedy date consider express lunch at the bar.

Yu-u, Basement, 137 Flinders Lane, Melbourne, 9639 7073
Famously hidden, this subterranean restaurant is serene and special. There are lovely set lunches, terrific teriyaki and subtle ume chazuke (soupy green tea rice). The bar is perfect for playing footsies.

Vue de monde, 55th floor, Rialto, 525 Collins Street, Melbourne, 9691 3888
If you’re not in a basement you might as well be on the 55th floor. It’s not a cheap date but today’s Vue de Monde is light-hearted and memorable.

First published in The Age, May 11, 2014.

2017-09-18T15:05:35+10:00

Leave A Comment

© Dani Valent 2024