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San Telmo: 14 Meyers Place, Melbourne, 9650 5525
My score: 4/5
After an evening at San Telmo I got home and checked my bloke-o-meter. My reading was off the charts! I had minced into this modish Argentinian grill palace a woman but I left with a ruddy rare-steak complexion, a bow-legged cowboy swagger and a mysterious appetite for a cigar. That’s testament to the accomplished realisation of an impassioned vision for this laneway all-day restaurant and bar. Gringos built it but it hums with honour, respect and testosterone.
There’s plenty of sensory pleasure. I love the soft leather detailing (it’s fine to stroke the placemats, not so cool to fondle the waiters’ supple aprons), fat timber slab tables and claret-coloured carpet that ensures the room thrums rather than clatters. The hero kitchen equipment is the parilla (say ‘pah-reesh-ah’), a charcoal grill with a separate furnace. I’m not convinced it imparts unique qualities to the food but it’s definitely handsome.
The empanada pastries are super, especially the moist, luxurious beef version with the crunch of almonds and sweet bite of currants. The grill selection is well-priced and would be great to rip into with a group with the cojones to order tongue, blood and sweetbreads as well as the various muscle cuts. I loved the taut-skinned chorizo, spiced to a gentle blush and full of porky flavour. The ‘tira de asado’ (beef short ribs) are cross-cut and fatty, all the better to carry the flavour. They’re tasty, chewy, rich and good. I know real men don’t eat greens but we ordered broccoli. It was thickly (and a bit claggily) battered and didn’t provide the healthy retort to the ribs’ doughty whack. Thank goodness for the salsas, especially the gorgeous chimichurri loaded with parsley and garlic.
Knowledgeable waiters do a fine job of teaching Argentinean Eats 101, steering diners through the all-Argy wine list and keeping the large, jam-packed joint on track. The toilets are unisex, which actually jived with my temporary gender dysmorphia, though it’s a shame to note there are still plenty of men who don’t put the seat down. Because I was a gallant gaucho by dessert time, I shared my dulce de leche flan. Bad move. Next visit, chivalry be damned: all that delicious milky, caramel goodness is mine, all mine. I may still share the olive oil-infused melon salad with its tangy multi-citrus sorbet because it’s as fresh and fascinating as a fun-time bloke like me.
See their website.
More South American
Sonido, 69 Gertrude Street, Fitzroy, no phone.
Cute, cheap and cash-only this music-loving cafe serves empanadas and arepas (corn cakes) with fillings such as chorizo and beans.
El Gaucho, 454 Nicholson Street, Fitzroy North, 9482 7447
Group dinners are winners at this Argentine grill restaurant with an all-you-can-eat menu under $30.
Vyve, 184 Burgundy Street, Heidelberg, 9458 2222
A Brazilian chef includes some home-style favourites on a broadly Mediterranean menu. Look out for feijoada, a Brazilian hotpot with pork and beans.
First published in The Age, March 4, 2012
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